


The Wheel Doesn't Turn Anymore

by SeriouslySami



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Agender Character, Break Up, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 02:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeriouslySami/pseuds/SeriouslySami
Summary: You and Danny dated for three years. A break up threatens not only both yours and Dan's career at Game Grumps, but also both of your happiness and health. Even if your relationship should survive, could it ever thrive again?





	The Wheel Doesn't Turn Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where else to go with this and here is the best place to put it. So here ya go.

The words that Danny spoke flowed just like any other words. A sentence perfectly strung together. But that's not how they felt. Every word was piercing into your ears, cutting you to the bone. You watched his mouth move but the words felt disembodied. He might as well told you this over the phone. You wanted to scream before he even finished his monologue. You wanted to mute his voice. The sentence felt as though it dragged out for a long time. It was only around half a minute though. Three years together ruined in thirty seconds. 

"(Y/n)? I'm sorry... I just think-"  
"Oh, oh-ho, no. You've said what you think." Your voice shook violently and tears coated your eyes, streaking down your cheeks. "You- I- You've said enough."  
Dan sighed, "I was afraid you'd react this way."  
You felt the blood in your face boil with those words. "How else am I supposed to react?! The love of my life just fucking dumped me! And what? You want me to be happy?" You couldn't tell if you were shouting but you really didn't care.  
"No, but-"  
"But nothing, Leigh! I fucking loved you! I loved you." You were sobbing. You felt yourself start to panic as your anxiety kicked in. Why did he have to do this in a place where there were people? Dan tried to speak again but you ran off. You felt your heart pound so hard, you thought it was going to break your ribs. The last time your heart beat this hard was when Dan kissed you and asked you out.

 

It was New Years Eve. Dan and you were attending a party in LA with Arin, Suzy, Ross, Ryan, and Matt. Arin and Suzy were getting ready for the big midnight kiss, Ross was getting drunk and partying while Ryan and Matt supervised the heartbroken Aussie. That left Dan and you. You had a glass of wine in your hand and your eyes glued to the TV screen. Watching the countdown from 60 seconds. You were kind of sad because this would be yet another year without a kiss at midnight. But you weren't too sad because New Years is your favourite holiday. It reminded you of starting over. A comforting reminder of its okay that last year sucked, because there's a new one to try again. And man, were the years sucking. You got layed off from your journaling job at a failing "new hip" news station, your cat of 13 years died, and you still hadn't found a boyfriend. It's not that important to you to have one but you didn't want to live alone the rest of your life. You got lonely easy and one night stands are a never. And so, your year wasn't that good. There were upsides. The Grumps picked you up and now you control their social media and edit sometimes. You even suggested bringing Steam Train back and now it's in the works. But other than that...  
The timer dropped to forty seconds. The party was full of couples getting into a pose to kiss. And the single people were chatting away, not even paying attention to how close the new year was. Then there was you. Sitting there. Watching a countdown. You never missed a ball drop before. It was like lighting the tree, or thanksgiving dinner. A must. But tonight... You felt like making a change. You decided to get up. There was a balcony here and you felt like fresh air and getting away from the couples would do you some good. By time you got to the balcony, the timer was at twenty-five seconds. You checked your phone and kept time that way. Twenty. Nineteen. Eighteen. Seventeen. Sixteen. Fifteen....

\----

"How you holding up, Ross?"  
"I'm good! Great! This whiskey is soooo good!" Ross slurred all over. Hanging onto Dans shoulder.  
"Good for you, man. Glad you're having a good time. We'll talk later.. when you're sober."  
Dan whispered into Ryan and Matts ear to not take their eyes off of him. 

Dan cracked open a beer and took a sip. He scanned the room with his eyes. Noticing Arin who was staring to Suzys eyes, he made his interruption brief.  
"Do either of you know where (y/n) is?"  
Suzy and Arin both directed their eyes to where you were sitting only to be surprised by your absence.  
"Uhm, well not anymore." Arin spoke.  
"Maybe try the balcony? I'm not sure where (y/n) stands on couples so maybe they went out there." Suzy suggested.  
Dan nodded and turned to leave but Arin stopped him.  
"Wait, are you going to do it?"  
Dan nodded, his lips breaking into a smile. Arin patted his shoulder.  
"Good luck!" Arin and Suzy chimed. And with that Dan made his way to the balcony. 

\----

Fifteen. Fourt-  
Your train of thought was interrupted when Dan joined you by your side. He looked slightly out of breath but nice. You took note of the blue blazer he wore and a Rush band T under it. You questioned this choice in your head. Not exactly what business casual meant. He set the beer down on the thick wall of the balcony.  
"Hey, (y/n)." He looked at you and smiled.  
"Hey, Danny. What's up?"  
"Uhm..."  
"Ten! Nine! Eight!" The crowd inside started to chant, counting down. Dan decided it was too late to explain himself. He'd have to show you what he was thinking. He took your hand. You held it and smiled up at him, blushing. In unison, both of you counted down from five.  
"Four. Three. Two..." Both of you leaned in at one and kissed each other. Dan held your head with his hand, and your arms wrapped around him. Nothing could break this kiss. Nothing except...  
"HAPPY NEWW YEAR!" A drunken Ross appeared. Followed by Ryan and Matt. "Aww! You two are together! How cute!"  
"Ross! Ross! Come on, leave them alone." Matt and Ryan lured him away with some rum in coke.  
"Is... is he gonna be okay?" You asked worriedly.  
Dan sighed. "Yeah. He'll be fine." Both of you turned back to each other. Dan was smiling at you wide and you blushed with a grin in return.  
"I'm sorry if you didn't want that." Dan exclaimed realizing that he kind of just pushed that on you. "I had this whole speech prepared but forgot to look for you and then I didn't want to miss my chance to kiss you at midnight and-"  
You cut Dan off with a kiss. "I wanted it. It was perfect. Thank you." You hugged him.  
"Good..." Dan sighed in relief  
"How long?"  
"Hmm?" Dan responded.  
"How long have you liked me?" You stared up into his eyes. The way the moonlight illuminated him made him look majestic.  
"Uhm... well.. The moment I can pinpoint is.. kinda stupid. We were all at that meeting a few months back. And it was when you were talking about ideas for us. Like bringing back Steam Train and new ideas for 10MPH. I saw how applied you were and how passionate you got. It warmed my heart. That smile and spark in your eyes... I just fell." Dan tried to hide his sheepish smile.  
"Danny... that's so sweet. Thank you so much for opening up to me."  
"Did.. uhm.. did you have feelings for me? It's okay if you didn't!" Dan caught himself.  
"No. I uhm... yeah. I did. And if you thought your moment was stupid... here we go. So, it was during editing one of the Game Grump videos and you were talking about how you really appreciated everyone that makes the Game Grumps who they are. And... well I view myself as just a back up and not that important in my position. So when I heard you mention me, it meant a lot. I felt like I actually belonged somewhere. And I finally found it. But even more so, I found a man who I wanted in my life. I wanted to laugh with and just be around him. And if that meant just being friends, I was ready to fill that role. But I did wish for it to become more." You darted your eyes away from him while talking and then finally set them onto his eyes. He was smiling and as soon as you had finished, he kissed you. Long and good. You were lost in each others eyes. The balcony had now become a cloud. That was until Ross chimed in once again.  
"That's so cute!" Dan was ready to yell for Matt and Ryan but when he turned his head, he saw Arin, Suzy, Matt, Ryan, and Ross staring at you two in awe with smiles.  
"How long were you guys here?" Dan asked.  
Arin checked his watch. 12:05 am. "About five minutes."  
Both you and Dan joined the rest inside. The night ended with you and Dan cuddled up on the couch fast asleep.

 

That was three years ago. And now here you were. Walking down the street, choking back tears. You hated him. You hated him for doing that. Just out of nowhere. Dumping you in front of people. Expecting you not to freak out. But most of all, you hated him because you couldn't hate him. You loved him. You love him with every piece of your shattered heart. 

\----

Dan didn't know why. He just knew. He didn't feel right. He was tired of pretending too. The past month had been full of arguing and fights. Pointless making up just to fight again. He was losing his will to want to fight with you. It was a hard decision but Dan had decided that it was best to break it off with you. He obviously wasn't what you needed. At least not right now. All he seemed to do was anger you. Disappoint you. Hurt you. He was done causing you pain.  
Dan set a date with you. Little did you know it would be the last date you'd ever go on with Dan. It was at your usual diner in LA. Dan had sat you two down at a booth. The words were heavy on his tongue and he wasn't sure he'd be able to get them out. But he pushed through. Looking out the window, he spoke the dreaded words.  
"I've been thinking lately and... I don't think we should continue this. It just seems like we're not happy anymore. The spark is gone. It's been a good run but... we shouldn't be together. I'm sorry but I think this is for the best. Maybe we'll meet again but for now, this isn't working. I'm sorry, (y/n). I really am."  
He expected you to cry. To be upset. But not the screaming. Not the outburst. He was tempted to run after you and comfort you. But he knew this was for the best. Now he couldn't hurt you anymore. Little did he know...

\----

Months later and it still hurt. Without Dan, the apartment was smaller. Emptier. Quieter. No one was there to hold you when you woke up crying the day after the the break up. No one to serenade you in the evenings. The bed felt so much bigger. Lonelier. Two months later and you still cried every morning. There was only one day that you didnt cry. You were just numb. You relapsed that day. You just wanted to feel again. Feel something. In control. You regretted it immediately after but there was no undo button. Just a vicious cycle of trying to not think about it. Trying to keep busy. Arin had you working with Suzy, editing her videos for now until you felt you could be around Dan again without punching him. You could never punch him but you might cuss him out. You can't afford to get fired. So you took the offer. You were grateful for that. You knew you wouldn't be able to hear anything about Dan, especially in the first month. But by next month, you agreed to come back to them. Suzy was upset about that saying your video editing was extraordinary. You took it as a pity compliment but thanked her.  
You stayed in bed that morning, thinking about Dan. He probably was better off. Drowning in blondes and happy. You held him from that. For three years. You felt yourself getting sick by the guilt. You had lost 10 pounds from not being able to eat much and what you could you couldn't hold. Suddenly, there was a knock. You groaned softly and answered the door, not thinking about who it might have been.  
"Ross!" You exclaimed.  
"Hey, sorry to drop in like this but I just wanted to check in."  
"Oh my god, I look like a wreck! I'm sorry. You can come in. The place is a mess. Excuse that. I'm sorry."  
"No, it's fine. It's not as bad as my place when Holly and I split." Ross closed the door behind him. He looked around. It hurt his soul to see this happen to you. There were spots where he could tell haven't been walked on in months. Gaps on the walls where pictures must've been. And a coat of dust on the TV. Your bed was messy and the bedside tables littered with water bottles, beer cans, whiskey bottles, and coffee mugs.  
"Oh, yeah. At least you two are on good terms."  
"Well, we're managing."  
You came out of the bathroom in some normal clothes. You caught a glimpse of your trash surrounding your bed.  
"I'm sorry about that! Uhm, I don't usually drink a lot. I just need the caffeine to keep me up when working on edits. And well... okay. I'm a mess." You said defeated.  
Ross walked towards you and hugged you tightly. "I'm here if you need me. I mean it. I understand."  
You hugged Ross back a bit delayed, not used to the physical contact. "Thank you."  
He held your hand and lead you to the bed. "Let's talk?"  
You nodded and both of you sat down.  
He placed a hand on your knee. "So talk to me. How are you holding up besides the obvious?"  
You let out a laugh but knew he was serious. "Uh... not too well. It's not that I miss Dan but I just can't seem to function without him. I can edit because it's like riding a bicycle. It comes naturally. But eating and going out... I just feel like it's all pointless. I don't see a point in trying. I had everything planned out. Everything was fine and then... I don't even know. He just broke up with me. Claimed we weren't happy. Maybe he wasn't but I was. Now this..." I gestured to my surroundings. "This is unhappy."  
"This." Ross looked into my eyes. "Is heartbreak. It's depression. And it's usually okay. But it's been two months. You need to talk and get out. Keeping yourself isolated will only make it worse."  
"I know, i know. I just feel like I don't have anyone anymore."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Like, everyone I was friends with, Arin, Suzy, you, Ryan, Matt, Brian, Vernon, everyone is Dans friends. So I feel weird and I feel like they think I'm horrible."  
"Why would they think that?"  
"Because of whatever Dan had told them. They probably think I'm psycho and hate me. I'm surprised you're even here."  
"I promise you, they dont hate you. In fact, they're worried about you. Even Dan is."  
"Is that why you're here? Because Dan?"  
"No. I'm here because I wanted to be. Because I'm worried. Dan has no idea I'm here."  
"Wait, did you say Dan was worried about me?" You cut in, looking at Ross intently.  
"Yeah. He is." Ross held onto your hand.  
"Oh."  
"What is it?"  
"I just thought he'd be happy. That he has forgotten me. He probably has someone else by now and is drowning in women."  
Ross let out a laugh. A sad laugh. "I think I kind of wish that were the case. But he's miserable. He's almost as bad as you."  
"Really?" You asked, worry in your eyes.  
"Yeah."  
There was a second of silence then Ross questioned, "I mean, why do you think you guys broke up?"  
"Well, I don't know. Things were fine and then he just ended things. We were fighting quite a bit but I thought we were okay."  
"Dan said that he was making you unhappy. He was only hurting you. There wasn't any love there."  
"Oh my god... Danny, you idiot..."

\----

It was almost a month since he broke up with you. It was after a Grumps session and he just sat there, staring off into space. He didn't even notice Ross walk in. Arin and Ross talked for a good minute before noticing Dan.  
"Hey, Danny, you okay?" Ross called.  
"Dan?" Arin shook him by his shoulder slightly.  
Dan jumped and snapped to attention. "Oh, yeah! Yeah, I'm all right. Just tired."  
"When's the last time you got a good nights sleep, man?" Arin asked, concern coating his words.  
"What are you talking about?" Dan answered in defense mode.  
Ross say by Dan, Arin on the other side.  
"Come on, Dan. What's going on? Please don't shut us out."  
Dan stayed silent. Looking down.  
"Is it about (y/n)?" Arin rubbed Dans back.  
Dan nodded, trying to hold back tears.  
"What happened?" Ross soothed, putting a hand on Dans shoulder.  
"All I did was hurt (y/n). I just caused pain. I was supposed to be a source of love and support. But I failed!" Dan broke and started to cry. "I failed. I had to break up with them. It was the hardest thing I ever did but it's for the best."  
Ross and Arin gave each other a look of worry and comforted Dan as he cried.  
"It's okay, man. Let it out. But I don't think that's true. (Y/n) loved you. They loved you so much. No matter how many fights the two of you had, they still wanted you and only you." Arin pointed out.  
"Yes. Arins right. And plus, three years is a long time without any major fighting. Maybe it was just a rough patch. Those happen. But (y/n) would have wanted to work on it and move through it. Did they know you felt this way?" Ross added.  
"Well... n-no. But it felt obvious."  
"Maybe it was obvious to you but not them." Ross said.  
"Dan, do you still love (y/n)?" Arin asked.  
"Yes. Yes, I really do. I have for three years."  
"And do you miss them?"  
"Yes."  
"Then what are you waiting for?"  
Dan thought. He assumed you moved on and found someone better by now. But Arin was right.  
"You're right, Arin. But... I don't think I can do anything for right now. I need to know how they are. I need to know if they've moved on. I don't want to tear anything away that they might have started."  
Both Arin and Ross understood.  
"Thank you for opening up to us." Ross smiled.

\----

Two months and one week since one of the worst days of your life. You were told to come to the Grumps office early today since Ross needed some help with editing. You grabbed a breakfast bar and took a bite as you closed the door to your apartment and caught an Über.  
The ride there was torture. Thinking over and over ways to act if you saw Dan. Would you say hi? Start up a conversation? Or cuss him out and slap him? You felt you couldn't be sure until he crossed your eye. Until then, he should be out of mind. 

Ross answered the door and invited you in, leading you to the office space explaining what was going on.  
"So basically, there's this part where the audio cuts out slightly but it's during game play. So I'm wondering whether to leave it and put something funny there or just cut it out."  
You thought for a second. "Let me take a listen."  
You put on the headphones, sitting on his chair, and Ross backed the episode up to where the audio cut out. Only, it wasn't the audio. And it wasn't even a real episode of Game Grumps. It was just Dan.

"Hey, (y/n). I know this is a lame way to try and apologise to you. But I feel like it's the only way I can get through to you. I do want to talk to you in person. But I just want you to know that I am sorry. I'm so sorry for breaking up with you. I thought I was just hurting you and making you mad. And well, i only want the best for you. I realize now that that's unrealistic and sometimes we will have rough patches. And I want to be there through them. I want to work through them with you. I want us. I want you. I don't care if we argue everyday. I will work with you and I want us to get through it. I was such an idiot. I made things about me when they are about us. We're a couple, or... we were one. And that means two. It takes two to fight. I'm so sorry. I'm not asking for an apology. This isn't some try at getting you back with me. I'm just trying to let you know that I am deeply sorry. And I hope you're okay. I hope you're happy. That's what I want. Is for you to be happy. I love you. I love you, (y/n). You'll always be a part of me." 

You took the headphones off. You cried through most of it. You put your head in your hands and sobbed. Ross put his hand on your back.  
"(Y/n), I'm so sorry."  
You wiped your eyes and turned around to see Dan standing there. You didn't know how to feel. You were feeling so much. Confusion, hurt... love. Your eyes were blurry with tears but saw Dan was crying too. He stepped closer and kneeled in front of you. "I'm so sorry." He sobbed.  
You ran your shaking hands through his curls, trying to smile. "I am too." You mustered out. Ross had left by now. Giving you both privacy.  
Dan cried into your lap and sobbed unintelligible words. You shushed him and ran your fingers through his hair. You sank down to the floor with him. Both of you held each other while you let it all out. Soaking each others shoulders with tears and snot. When Dan finally calmed down a bit, he took a shaky breath.  
"I love you so much. I have every day for three years. I never stopped. Not one second. I missed you so much. I'm so sorry." His voice was shaking and he gasped through his words trying not to sob. You calmed down eventually as well. Both of you stared into each others eyes. You didn't know what to say. You wanted to tell him you loved him and missed him. But you couldn't say it. In replacement of words, you kissed him. You started to cry again but kept kissing him. He kissed back and wrapped his arms around you tightly. After the kiss broke, there was more just holding each other.  
You're not sure how long it went on. You didn't think Dan knew either.

"This doesn't mean everything's back to normal." You declared.  
"I know." Dan agreed.  
"I missed you."  
"I missed you too."  
Dan and you sat at the foot of your bed. You talked about how your lives were without each other. And how you never want to do that again. 

Later that week, most of Dans stuff was back in the apartment. And tonight would be the first night in a couple months he was living with you again. The night was spent cuddling and watching some movies that you had both seen countless times. But it was still great. A much needed night of comfort. While you two were cuddling, Dan decided to get some popcorn. You two continued on while watching the Princess Bride for what must have been the hundreth time of just you two re-watching it. Dan had made a dent in the popcorn before he noticed you hadn't even touched it.  
"Want some?" Dan asked, tipping the bowl towards you.  
"No, I'm okay." You declined, not making eye contact. Dan shrugged it off as you didn't like popcorn all that much anyways.  
Falling asleep was so much easier with Dan by your side. You had one of the best nights of rest in the past two months.

\----

Dan knew that things weren't back to normal. He didn't expect them to be. Trust had been shaken between you two. Dan knew he had to deal with the repercussions. But he was still worried. When Ross told him about the bottles littering your room, he wanted to run to your place and pour every ounce of alcohol out the window. He knew you struggled with that and other things. His sleep lost over worrying about you rendered him nearly useless to his co-host, Arin. Dan found it as a distraction but was still not all there. Luckily, the games Arin picked weren't too mentally straining. Dan wondered if the audience could tell. There was constantly rumours about you two breaking up. Dan hadn't wanted your love life together to be on public display. And you weren't in love with the idea either. But after a year together, Dan and you decided that your relationship was ready. This didn't mean you'd be cuddling live on YouTube or on stage for the world to see. Just to let everyone know that Dan had found the one. Other than the occasional asshole, most of the fans left the relationship alone and were supportive when Dan did talk about you. He wasn't sure how well he hid how miserable and sleep deprived he was.


End file.
